Have a go at our next caption competition (above, click for full image). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 19 September
Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:
Adam BullivantAdam Bullivant
Fancy sharing an Amazon account? We can be Prime-mates (Ellie Frowde)
A PRIMATE of sorts in this week’s picture — but which kind, exactly? “Actually, you weren’t the sort of primate I was expecting Canterbury to send us” (Valerie Ganne); “Not quite the Primate the vicar was expecting” (Charles Walster); “Our primate will be attending evensong today” (Christopher Rig); “Are you a Primate primate or just a primate?” (Janet Bacon); “Yes, I know the job description said ‘primate’ but. . .” (Neil Woods); “This is the primates’ meeting, isn’t it?” (Doug Chaplin); “Am I right for the primates’ meeting?” (Martin Kettle); “The Primate Agency is the wrong organisation for congregations seeking the services of an archbishop” (Don Manley).
The jury is out on whether this is part of another hair-brained (excuse the pun) church strategy: “Gorilla tactics had to be used to grab the attention of the congregation” (Philip Deane); “Cathedral employs guerrilla tactics to further mission” (Alex Summers); “He knew the publicity shoot for the ‘Guerilla Church’ training day had taken a wrong turn, but sometimes you have to just role with it” (Jonnie Parkin); “When he asked for the Alpha Male, he meant a letter from HTB” (Michael Doe); “The congregation were concerned that the vicar’s project to rewild the churchyard was getting rather out of hand” (Mervyn Cox); “Is this where Gorillas in the Ministry is being filmed?” (Mitch Irving).
There may well have been a misunderstanding about whether the event was social or liturgical (or something in between): “And take off that silly costume” (Stephen Woodbridge); “I think you’re wearing my costume!” (Fiona Drinkell); “Are you sure it was a fancy-dress service?” (Sheri Darby); “Excuse me, but you’re wearing my vestments” (David Hole); “You’re here for the Ape-y CM? I’m afraid there may have been a misunderstanding” (Estelle Wilson); “I actually asked for a griller for the parish garden party” (Ed Wright).
Some other entries that we enjoyed: “But, mummy, gorillas are herbivores; aren’t prebendaries carnivorous?” (Paul Crabb); “Lord, I only turned away for a minute, and the curate has metamorphosed into a new creation” (Patsy Cann); “Sorry, Kong, don’t mean to burst your bubble, but there’s only one King around here. His name is Jesus!” (Madeline Charlton); “Oh, dear, it was the Simeon’s Trustees who were meant to nominate his new colleague” (John Saxbee); “We appreciate your offer to help move the piano, but we have a verger team to do that” (Philip Lickley); “Do you know the way to the bell tower? King Kong loves the sound of big bong” (Mark Richardson); “Congratulations, Canon Kong, and welcome to your new position. The leadership team will greatly value the extra weight and strength you will bring to their deliberations” (Jonathan Haigh); “What do you mean, I can’t be a bishop?” (Robin Morgan); “The lecturer for the Darwinian symposium had just arrived” (Richard Hough); “Not quite what the bishop expected when he asked for a picture of a primatial cross!” (Ray Morris); “It was his first day on Strictly and he’d been put with the Primate. The paso doble was quite out of the question, but how about the conga?” (Roly Cobbett); “Hello, Bishop, and what planet are you on?” (Bill de Quick); “Lambeth has got nothing on the Hairy Primates Conference’’ (Peter Walker); “Well, it’s a pet service like no other” (Chris Coupe); “A whole new meaning to the expression ‘Bear with me’” (Michael Watts); “Just keep him talking, Father, while I creep up with this stun gun” (Valerie Budd); “The visiting preacher symbolised strength, intelligence, and gentleness — but very few of the congregation would risk shaking his hand at the end of the service” (Alison Parry); “It was expected that the ‘very hairy’ visiting preacher would cause something of a ‘stir’, but no one seemed to notice” (Mark Parry); “The cathedral staff really embraced the ‘Bring your pet to work’ day” — none more so than the Canon” (Paul MacDermott); “This pet blessing is turning out to be pretty hairy” (Sheena Batey).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.
divinechocolate.com